North India to Chennai

I got this on email and I thought this was worthy enough for a fight.

Hi friends,

This is a live update from chennai.

Language - Tamil, tamil and tamil. Even if they know hindi, they dont speak up.
People - We never heard anyone laughing here (I wonder if they ever laugh or shout)
So conservative, that noone talks even in the bus
Food - Idly, sambhar, rice, dosa, vada, pongal
We have to cook our food ourselves (unbelievable naa).
Weather - summer from october to feb and rest of the year it's deadly summer.
Lesiure - TV, dormitery, dirty sea beaches on weekends
Rent - 6.5 K / 1 BHK
Advance - 6 months
Aata - Rs. 26 /kg
Apple - Rs 100 /kg
Orange - Rs. 10/piece
Banana - Rs 3 /piece
Mausmi Juice -Rs 18 /glass
Jeans Dryclean - Rs.40
Phulka - Rs. 8 (idly also Rs.8)

Interesting facts and incidents :
1. Here you cannot buy a needle after 6 PM (strange).
2. We asked an auto driver, "hindi aati hai"?. He replied in hindi "Hindi nahi aati".
3. The most common suffix here is 'a', e.g.
straight - straighta
2 cup tea - 2 cupa tea
4. Even dogs eat curd rice.
5. In north, names are like Gori Shankar, gauri prasad etc. Here the names are like Kaliraj, kalicharan etc.
6. When there is a 't' in any name, they add 'h' to it.
jayant - jayanth
bharat - bharath
7. Here is a culture of adding mystical alphabets after ones's name, like Mahesh R, Sandeep T etc.
7. Cable connection is of no use here as only tamil channels are broadcasted on cable TV, if anyone wanna watch hindi channels then you need to buy a set up box (Rs.4000).
8. Cognizant navallur office is actually not in chennai, it comes under a district called Chengalpet which is 51 kms from main city.
9. Once we saw a girl in the food court, she was looking and acting like a north indian. My friend became exited and planned to talk to her, but just then we noticed her breakfast and then "dil ke armaan aansuon mein beh gaye", she was having pongal. (disguise!!)
10.How dare anyone come to chennai : Cognizant Chennai MCity comes under SEZ(special economic zone), swap and transfers from here are not possible.
11. No life after 9 PM.
12. No need to worry for Tsunami, because noone will be left to cry on your grave.

Bye Bye (waiting for banglore, pune, hyderabad update)

This was sent to a lot of other people and as luck would have it, someone was from Chennai !!! He/she replied ...

See i think a few things are pretty true here...But most of it are just mere exaggeration. He has just written all his effusive frustration here..!! I live here in bangalore, and trust me its much more expensive than wht he thinks.. i have lived in Chennai and Bangalore, and in Kerala, so i do know the difference between most of the places in South India.. Chennai is supposed to be the second cheapest metropolitan city after Calcutta and any other cities in India.

Language - Tamil, tamil and tamil. Even if they know hindi, they dont speak up.
For your Kind information, nobody knows Hindi here. Only non-tamilians living in Chennai take Hindi (like me) while most of them take French. And excluding the non-localites, people converse in ENGLISH.

People - We never heard anyone laughing here (I wonder if they ever laugh or shout). So conservative, that noone talks even in the bus.
They are not conservative damn it...ALL INDIANS are like that..!! The same happens in Bangalore, Hyderabad or Pune..U dont strike a coversation with a stranger out of the blue..!!

Food - Idly, sambhar, rice, dosa, vada, pongal. We have to cook our food ourselves (unbelievable naa).
Excuse' Moi ..!! When i went to the north (not specifying which place), me being a south-indian, had a tough time, hunting for some good rice to eat, because all i got was Aloo Paratha, Aloo Gobi, Gobi Manchurian, Aloo Muttor, Aloo Roast etc.. Wonder if they invented Aloo Juice.. Each of them have their own culture for taste and sense..!! So dont blame any place.

Weather - summer from october to feb and rest of the year it's deadly summer.
Damn it, dont tell me you would complain that it dint rain or snow in Sahara when you where there..!! Oh please, for heaven sake, each area has a difference in climate. India is not small as u get to see in the world map.

Lesiure - TV, dormitery, dirty sea beaches on weekends
Hahahaa....Atleast you get to see a beach buddy..!!

Rent - 6.5 K / 1 BHK
Do you know the size of the rooms?? They would be huge. I pay 7K for a 1BHK, that is just as big as my bathroom in Chennai..!!

Advance - 6 months
Buddy, i pay an adavnce of 11 months.. !! So who is to blame??

Aata - Rs. 26 /kg
Apple - Rs 100 /kg
Orange - Rs. 10/piece
Banana - Rs 3 /piece
Mausmi Juice -Rs 18 /glass
Jeans Dryclean - Rs.40
Phulka - Rs. 8 (idly also Rs.8)

Hahahaaa..!! Pillsbury Aata costs the same all over India dear..!! Sorry these things dont worth an argument..

1. Here you cannot buy a needle after 6 PM (strange)
God give me a break..!!

2. We asked an auto driver, "hindi aati hai"?. He replied in hindi "Hindi nahi aati".Buddy, thats the only thing they would have learnt in Hindi..!! For heaven sake, stop having false impressions that hindi is our National Language..!! It isnt..i have no time for this argument again..!! I never knew they speak Tamil in Delhi or Bombay..!! So why Hindi in Chennai..!! Use a more worldy used language, ENGLISH.

3. The most common suffix here is 'a', e.g.
straight - straighta
2 cup tea - 2 cupa tea
Yes, like the way you'll pronunce, thirty (therty as thartty) and fourteen (forteen as farteen)..!! Somebody stop me..!!

4. Even dogs eat curd rice.
Atleast they get to eat something, not starved to death.. and yeah, less stray dogs, that they would be famished and start feeding on children.

5. In north, names are like Gori Shankar, gauri prasad etc. Here the names are like Kaliraj, kalicharan etc.
What else do what us to name?? Elvis Presley or Brad Pitt?? Atleast Elizabeth Hurly or Angelina Jolie never asked you, why your name was Gauri Prasad..!!

6. When there is a 't' in any name, they add 'h' to it.
jayant - jayanth
bharat - bharath
Well, in Hindi you wrtie 'Ta' as t, and in Tamil we write 'Tha' as Th..!! Dont find faults with such silly matters.

8. Here is a culture of adding mystical alphabets after ones's name, like Mahesh R, Sandeep T etc.
Sorry, instead to keeping 'Abhishek Anandkumar Khare' or 'Sunaina Swapan Teja', we just name them as 'Abhishek A.K' and 'Sunaina S.T'

9. Cable connection is of no use here as only tamil channels are broadcasted on cable TV, if anyone wanna watch hindi channels then you need to buy a set up box (Rs.4000).
Hahaha...You guys where the ones who started making a big fuss about making Hindi Channels as paid Channels...we never wanted to watch Hindi here, so who cares.. Nobody uses STB (Set Top Box), Tamilians watch all south-indian languages for free..!!

10. Cognizant navallur office is actually not in chennai, it comes under a district called Chengalpet which is 51 kms from main city.
Escuse me..!! Hahaha..!! Infosys or any other office in Bangalore, in Electronics City, is actually in Hosur Road..!! Dont expect Narayan Moorthy to build such a huge campus in the heart of the city..!! Ask questions that make sense..!!

11. Once we saw a girl in the food court, she was looking and acting like a north indian. My friend became exited and planned to talk to her, but just then we noticed her breakfast and then "dil ke armaan aansuon mein beh gaye", she was having pongal. (disguise!!)
I saw a cute south-indian guy...But what??? Ohhh..!! Shucks, he is having Aloo Paratha :'(

12.How dare anyone come to chennai : Cognizant Chennai MCity comes under SEZ(special economic zone), swap and transfers from here are not possible.
Be in Chennai learn something here, so that you could live anywhere in the world and stop making a upheaval with small matters of life.. They sent u here, so that u learn :)

13. No life after 9 PM.
Do u know what life is than just going to Disco's and Pubs?? Partying and Boozing??

14. No need to worry for Tsunami, because none will be left to cry on your grave.
Atleast we wont sit and fight among ourselves, shoot or die cause of bomb blast..Oh Boy, i want to look sweet when i die, dont wanna look like a roasted chicken ;)

No offence meant in this mail.. But just wanted to let you noe that DON'T BELIEVE ALL ARE TRUE.

I live in Bangalore, and I do love this place, and I would love it anywhere I live..!! Learn to adjust, and not to make a big riot over static things in the world..!!

The bold face font and italics were there in the original mail. There were more colors in the mail but for the sake of simplicity I did not use them.

The person who replied is in all probabilities a female. :D

Pulikat Lake

Visited Pulikat Lake on Sunday.


About 80 KMs from Chennai. Once you reach the place you have to ride the boat for some 2 hours to reach the mouth of the ocean and this is where this pic was clicked !

Credits - Me :D

Gold, Gajras and Silk

If I were asked three things that define a tamilian woman, I would bet my life and say ... Gold, Gajra and Silk. Every female in Chennai is fully loaded with these three things at all points in the day.

I really wonder why aren't there any day light chain-snatchings, robberies etc. with so many potential targets out on the street are shopping, walking, chatting, haggling, Gold we all know is one of the best friends of any female in the world (diamonds give them a fight but gold still holds ground). Chennai would have the maximum amount of per-capita gold anywhere in the world.

Hansa Parekh introduced me to the wornderful world of Gajras. Ever since, I have been hooked to say the least. Chennai is a heaven for all the Gajra people. You can find small kids selling Gajras everywhere. On the bus stops, in the restaurants (yes in the restaurants), petrol pumps, outside bookshops, think of a place, they are there. And what more, ladies buy them too.

And finally silk. They have some kind of obsession with silk and they experiment too. I have seen silk saree with pocket, have seen reversible saree and have also seen denim silk saree. Who said India could not innovate things.

Chennai to Mahabalipuram

Wikipedia: Mahabalipuram

Mahabalipuram is also known as Mamallapuram is about 45 KM from Chennai. Famous for temples going back to 7th century (I am still confused if we are in 20th century or the 21st).

Sunday evening, Chumma (Tamil for "Just like that") I decided that I would bike to Mahabalipuram and come back. Picked up my bike, got the fuel and off I was.

Just before I left Chennai, I lost my cellphone. A friend called up and I saw his name and put the phone back into the pocket and when I stopped to call him back, the phone wasnt there anymore. I went back to the spot where I had put it in the pocket and I couldn't find it. Its now about 24 hours without the phone and life hasn't stopped.

And I was away biking on the ECR, lost in the scenic beauty of the roads (I was driving parallel to the sea shore all the time). For the first 20 odd minutes I was worried about my phone and what all to be done but after that .. I got lost. Lost in thoughts, arbit things, sights, analysis of other drivers, competitions with another highway raider.

I reached Mahabalipuram in about an hour. It had loads of tourists milling around. I dint see a lot of it but yes I saw the Krishna Butter ball (a huge rock boulder sitting on the hill) and alight house. I have always fancies about lighthouses but have never been in one. I so wanted to go in but they dont allow you inside. May be next time.

Apart from all the temples and sculptures and beaches, walks etc., Mahabalipuram is a good place to shop around for miniature replicas of gods, goddesses, demons etc. The best part about the shopping is the shopkeepers. They can speak English, Hindi, French, German, Telugu, Gujrati and of course Tamil. And if you ask prices of any object, they would reply "The price is XYZ and you can bargain!".

Caught !

Today I was driving on the road leading to Spencer's plaza and the cops caught me. Since my bike is registered in Delhi, I thought I would have to shell out some 1500 bucks and get my bike impounded. But surprise ... the cop caught me for driving in the bus lane and I paid just 100. For the first time in my life I have heard that you could be fined for driving in the bus lane.

I tried using my power of influence to somehow get him on my side and not pay the fine but I failed miserably. I told him that I am a mere sales trainee with limited resources and am new to Chennai. I also asked if this is how they treated their guests. I gave him all the gyaan about not knowing the rules and being careful in the future but he was not ready to listen to anything. Then I used the last trick in my bag and said actually I was searching for an address and that's why I was driving in the slow lane and this time he stared at me. I thought I better get myself fined before he impounds my bike and I am left stranded in heat without a bike.

And no he didn't check any other necessary documents that I should have had on the bike. In all thumbs up to Chennai traffic police. They are so much better than cops on Delhi roads.

Life and Death - The show must go on !!!!

People are happy when someone new comes to a family. A birth, a wedding, the new house etc., all are welcomed and celebrated in grand fashion. Parties are thrown out, friends are invited, everyone has a grand celebration.

If someone leaves, all the celebration is replaced by sorrow and pain. You leave for a different city; your entire family (cousins, friends, friend’s friends, neighbors and everyone you ever knew) would send you with sadness and tears in their eyes. Worst is when someone dies. We mourn like there is no tomorrow. If it’s a celebrity, we mourn the demise for seven days and entire nation comes to a stand still.

Here in Chennai I saw something very different from what I have seen in North India.

When people die in Chennai, they celebrate. There are no tears, no sorrow but it’s a huge ball. I am not implying that kin are happy about someone dying but the way they look at it is entirely different.

A typical funeral procession is lead by group of people throwing flowers on the road. They make something like a flowerbed that the procession walks on. Just behind is an army of drums, percussion instruments and a group of people dancing fanatically. Next is the body of deceased. Following this are the next of kin and everyone who has gathered to pay the last homage to the deceased.

First time I saw it, I thought someone was getting married. And no, this is not meant to be funny.

For a change I like this deviation from North India. The world moves on, the clock ticks away, nothing changes when people die. Mourning is not the way to send someone to his heavenly abode. (And yes I am an atheist). Lesson to be learnt.

Someone once said ... The Show Must Go On.

Chennai to Bangalore

My boss sent me from Chennai to Bangalore for a week. It was sort of a dream come true as I had zillions of friends in Bangalore and I thought I would have a rocking time in this technology capital of India.

And if you dint know this already ... Bangalored is now officially a word !

Chennai to Kodaikanal

Kodaikanal is about 550 KMs from Chennai and is one of the relatively famous hill stations in South India. I had a Monday off for Pongal, took the Saturday off and went to Kodai with friends.

We decided to go there by a taxi. The moment I sat in the taxi, I realized that we had made a mistake. Images of me trapped in a black box came alive. We should have taken the train and saved me from lot of agony and pain and suffering. Officially I am claustrophobic.

Our driver was an interesting guy. To start with he wasn’t wearing any footwear. I wasn’t surprised as I am used to seeing people bare feet now. He knew only two numbers. 15 and 105. He would either drive at 15 kmph or 105 kmph depending upon the traffic on road. Obviously he was trying to move at 105 if there were traffic on road and if the road was empty, he would take a stroll as if he was the BHAI out on streets of Mumbai.

We drove down the National Highway 47 towards Kodai. I need to find out where NH 47 leads. As always Wikipedia came to rescue. We stayed at Kodai International and I think we spent half our time there playing Table Tennis and sleeping.

Kodai is like any other hill station with one suicide point, one mall road and assorted collection of woodwork passed on as local specialty. However there were a few originals also. There is a huge lake right in the middle of the valley. For some strange reason every tourist in Kodai has to go around the lake on a bicycle. Just because everyone does it, we also did it. You can also take home homemade chocolates. I would love to see the "factory" where they make these homemade chocolates. These weren't any different from regular chocolates and in my humble opinion they tasted bad.

The best part about Kodai was Coaker's Walk. Some engineer called Coaker discovered this in 1872 and trust me this is one of the best places to get a view of the valley. This is very different from Himalayan Range. If you look down from a cliff in Himalayas, you can only see other mountains and view is limited by other heights. Here you can see the entire valley and beyond. It’s like one big wall at the end of a city.

We also went in for a jungle trek and yes it was scary with wild monkeys chasing us.

Kodai also has a solar observatory and I missed it too. I wanted to see the stars with my friends were not that keen on it. May be next time?

When coming back, our driver suddenly had a change on heart and he stopped at a shoe shop. Did I mention that he was barefoot till this time and decided he wants to buy a pair of shoes? He got down, haggled with the shopkeeper and bought a pair eventually. All this happened at 2 in night. For the first time in my life I had seen a shoe-shop open at 2 in the morning. And there were at least 10 such shops right there. I knew all the food joints and tea stalls are open 24 X 7 but round the clock service on footwear is something I hadn't even dreamt of.

May be this was some kind of religious ceremony where people abstain from wearing shoes and they can only buy shoes at 2 in night. People do funny things for religion in India.

There is more on Kodai but I am kinda low on time. Keep Reading/Watching !

Old money - The sign of good

Old money - the sign of good

I got a few replies from people about the length of text I post here and I have decided that this length would be shortened drastically. Right now, I will only talk about one thing - Old Money.

I once bought something from the office canteen and I was given the change in coins. One 1-rupee coin, 2 50-paisa coins and 4 25-paisa coins. Yes you read it right, a 25-paisa coin. I could not remember where I had seen it last. In Delhi, the rupee has lost its value. There aren't many things that you can buy with a rupee there. Even beggars ask for 5 bucks now-a-days. I am sure Chennai is the only place in India where they still use a 25-paisa coin. I seriously want to know what happened to all those 10-paisa and 5-paisa coins that were minted in large numbers and is there a place where they still use them.

Since this is something that my grandchildren would never see (I am sure they won't study), I think I ought stock a few to show it to them. I can understand that even a lot of us (people in my generation) wouldn't have seen a 25-paisa coin. Actually it's history repeating itself. Most of us would not have seen an anna and I am talking about the next generation missing the 25-paisa coin.

For the benefit of my generation, I shall try to describe it. The coin is ... as expected ... round in shape with exactly two faces. It has a silvery, steely finish and I bet is could stick to a magnet. One of the faces has got a Rhino on it and the other face has 25 written over most of it. It also has the Indian National Emblem on it. A pic of 25-paisa coin is here. It is smaller in size than a 5-rupee coin and is good to hold. It is slightly bigger than an average shirt button.

And while writing this, I was googling for things and I found the following links ...
1. Track Gandhi – I have registered all my notes and wow is this fun and this is an awesome idea as well. I think I will talk to these guys and do something about it.
2. Indian Currency on Wikipedia - Details about Indian Currency.

Of Lunch in the Closet

Every day a colleague and me go to this restaurant for lunch. It's walking distance from office and serves reasonably good non-south-Indian food. It's a regular restaurant with regular tables and regular chairs with regular staff and regular menu and regular food. Everything is regular apart from three small rooms in one corner. These rooms were numbered 4, 5 and 6 and had a "vacant" tag on top. Sometimes this vacant thing would show "occcupied". Of course, I was curious to know what is inside that room and why is it marked vacant and why are they numbered. We never got an opportunity to go inside, but today, we got lucky.

Today when we went there, all the regular tables were taken and we were ushered into room number 6. The room aka closet was smaller than 4 feet by 4 feet. The closet was furnished quite tastefully. It had a table, two sofas, a washbasin (with soap), one switch (we found out later what that switch did), and one fan on top, one CFL and not to forget one exhaust fan.

After we sat in there, the waiter closed the door to the room. This was not a regular door. It is like one of those old Hindi movies police station type creaking door. The ones that Amitabh Bachchan would hold and do so many things with. We found the concept of eating in a closed closet funny and scary and decided that we shall keep it open. The moment we opened it, the waiter rushed to us and asked if we want any help. Apparently opening the door meant asking for help.

He was then curt enough to tell us that if we want his assistance, we might use the switch and buzz him. The switch was actually connected to one of the buzzers. The moment we pressed it, there was a loud buzz sound and the waiter came rushing in. I was expecting he would knock on the door but he did not. We were being subjected to a royal experience. Please note the use of word subjected in place of treated.

Everyone from the manger to the waiters made sure that the door is kept closed at all times. If they had their way, they would not allow us to open the door at all and keep us inside for eternity. I thought for a moment that they could have shot another Cast Away or Bigboss right there. And who knows, I could have been famous also!

When we came outside after lunch in the closet, we realized there were host of other services inside – apart from privacy. As I said you could use buzzers to call waiters, we thought we have seen it all with a push button for calling waiters but there is more to it. Every time a buzzer is pressed, a red light is flashed outside that closet. The waiter has to press the light to turn it off and then he enters the cabin. I know it’s the same in the aircrafts but in a restaurant and that too a quarter star? Awesome!

This place is must visit for these magnificent buzzers, closet closets and

For people who are interested in knowing more, the restaurant is called Safari and its on Peters Road in Royapettah.

Of road side Temples, Driving and Old and New Numbers

Before I wrote the first one, I dint know that Chennai is called Tambiland. The name simply rocks. The Tambiland has fascinated me like no other place and there are loads of things that you can do here. To start with you can go and watch the Chennai Open – India's only ATP event. I love the concept of sports and I would like to see it live. I have never ever stepped inside a sporting arena (except a few matches of Counter-Strike and Halo ... if you can call them sports). If I can manage the leave from office and go the event, I shall update.

Today I would talk about Tambi temples, a freaky accident on road, driving through Chennai and the mystery of old and new numbers.

I will start with driving – my favorite past time. Chennai has got probably the worse roads (especially coming from Delhi, these roads look like hell). There is only one road in Chennai that is three lanes wide. Everything else, including the flyovers is either two lane or single lane thingy. All these roads are full of potholes and I can only imagine what would be the condition in monsoon. I have talked about this earlier also but people drive as if they were about to take-off. They drive like maniacs but what makes it worse is the uncanny knack of pressing the pressure horns even when their vehicles are parked. Thankfully they haven’t got creative with horns. I am dreading the day they decide to use Tambi music as horns.

One thing Chennai can certainly do is to somehow work on pollution control. Delhi is so much cleaner after the CNG buses and phasing out of older vehicles and Metro Rail. Chennai is bad. All vehicles are literally the old-age-smoke-emitting-chimneys in action. Even Titanic wouldn't have emitted this much smoke when it was going full-speed ahead.

There are a lot of good things about driving through Chennai. First and the foremost is the feeling of getting lost when you are driving through unknown lanes, roads etc. I guess, once I am familiar with the city, I wouldn't actually get lost but again a new place is always fun. You also get a visual treat as you drive through the street. The huge hoardings are done very very well. The graphics are stunning and a lot of the ads are actually very good.

Hoardings are temporary. The permanent structures – the houses and the buildings are equally awesome. Coming from Delhi, Gurgaon and Noida, I thought I have seen all the good buildings and structures but Chennai is in a different league of its own. Delhi, buildings are vertical, here they are more horizontal. Buildings are made over a huge plot of land with a garden and almost always symmetric. Someone might say that all the buildings in the world are symmetric but these buildings have some thing with them. Something that attracts me and something I cannot explain in words. Actually I don’t even know what attracts me. I just love them. However they are painted with bad color. There is so much scope for improvement if colors could be adjusted. But as they say things come in a package and all the goods and the bads make the package what the package is.

While driving through you can see a lot of small temples on crossroads, alleys and everywhere. I think we would have thousands if not hundreds of them here. These temples are done with an artistic talent that cannot be matched by anyone in North India. Once I get the camera, I shall post the pics. My talents with the camera might not do justice to the beauty of the temples but they simply are unbeatable. They are carved out of stone and then they are colored with shades of yellow, red, blue and good colors. You could stand and look at them for eternity and not get bored. I now understand what they mean when they say life like.

Driving is a pleasure but at the same time it can be dangerous also. Dangerous not as in falling-from-your-bed-in-sleep kind but real mortal danger of being actually hit head-on by a double-decker bus. I was subjected to almost a similar incident. I was walking down the road when a schoolgirl decides that she hates me and it's about time I was removed from the face of the planet. She banged her bicycle right into me. I have no clue why she did that and why I dint do anything. Actually that's why I was hit. If I did anything, I would have moved out of her way but as things would have it – I dint do anything. It was my training as yellow-belter in taekwondoo that saved me life. I jumped like RajniKanth and stopped the bicycle before it could touch me anywhere.

Every moment you live, you learn lessons. I learnt not to walk down the roads when I see a Tambi girl on a bicycle. Once bitten, twice shy. Once hitten, twice not hitten (just invented the word hitten). Today I would officially complete my ten days in Chennai and they have been average. Work sucks. Not all work doesn't sucks ... this one does and city is ok. If only I had more time to explore the city and move around, things would have been just right.

I would also move to my friends place this week. The place is called Thiruvanmiyur. Yes I know its complex but it is easy to learn. Break it up and learn. Thiru-Van-Miyur. See it’s easy. I plan to join a swimming pool and obviously learn swimming. I also plan to buy that elusive PS2 to kill some time at home and in process divert my mind off the stupid things that are happening. As with everything else, there is a problem. We would have only one TV amongst the four of us and it would be kinda hard to get the TV out.

I want to know what is about Tambiland that attracts a lot of VIPs here. I have been in Tambiland for about 10 days and have already seen the VIP movement twice. In Delhi, in my entire 24 years, I have not seen the VIP movements more than 4-5 times. If the trend continues, I would have seen even the neighborhood goon (read VIP) in Chennai in 4 months. The process (if can take the liberties to call it a process) is not very different from what we have in Delhi. Before the VIP decides that he want to pass through the busiest road in the city, there would cops all over the place trying to show themselves off as hyper alert. In Delhi we had people on Qualises and Gypsys but here since the cops move in sedans, you can see flashing Hyundais moving around the city. And as soon as the VIP would come close, they would stop traffic on all roads (including the VIP cavalcade). And then the VIP would be given the right to pass. I sometimes wonder what would happen if two VVIPs want to cross the same intersection but going in a different direction.

Chennai also has this concept of two numbers to the same house. A typical address in Chennai would read as Old Number 24, New Number 7, Pycrofts Garden Road, Off Haddows Road, Nugambakkam, Chennai. Ok time for some deciphering. The trick is simple. Read from right to left. Chennai is the city you are in. Nungambakkam is the locality you are in (something like Connaught Place), Off Haddows Road is the closest landmark (something like Palika Bazaar), Pycrofts Garden Road is the exact road where your destination is (something like Block B, Inner Circle) and the Old Number 24 and the New Number 7 is the magical door to your destination (something like B-24). I really want to know why every house is identified by the old number and the new number. If you lost one of the numbers (Old or New) you couldn’t find the house. Imagine if someone name was Old Name Saurabh and New Name Sagar. And then if someone were asked about his fathers’ name, the reply would be Saurabh and Sagar.

I did a Google (and Snap and Chacha) on this and as usual I could not find about these small intricacies in Chennai. Even the best of search engines fail to give me the answers.

Tambiland is also making me addict to coffee. I had almost stopped having coffee when I was not in Tambiland but now I have to have loads of it to keep myself alert, awake and attentive. More Later!

Welcome to Chennai

Chennai is an excellent place to be at. Temperature is about 40 degrees but since I am used to that in Delhi, its ok. Chennai has a feeling of a small place. Roads are at max two lanes wide with even flyovers that are only two lanes. Chennai has got huge huge hoarding and needless to say, I love them. Some of the interesting hoardings, I would want to click them but I don't have the camera right now are "saree with pocket", "reversible saree", "murugan idlee", etc. Chennai also has a lot of neon light and its a pleasure to walk in the evening.

Chennai has good book stores, picturesque homes and bylanes. Its a dream come true for anyone with an eye for detail, a camera and a weird sense of humor. Some things that I would have clicked are - people walking, cycling, driving bikes bare foot, people with folded lungis, people with maggi type hair, death defying stunts of drivers etc. Chennai has got double decker buses, two buses connected with rubber tubes and normal busses too.

Driving in Chennai is a good experience. I think Chennai roads should be used for training F1 drivers. People are not scared of dying on Chennai roads and in the game of chicken, both the drivers would rather die than choosing to live. Autowallas can turn anywhere they want to even if its a wall or a pedestrian or a bus. Bikers are no less. I think its the Dhoom aftermath, everyone wants to do stunts on the bikes. I am not sure how Schumi would have done on the Chennai tracks and what Mr. Biaggi would have done with Biking. Helmet is not required on the roads by law but more people in Chennai use helmets than in Delhi for obvious reasons.

Autowallahs are out their to loot you. They all are on a day light robbery mission. I am sure that with the kind of money these autowallahs make, they would have a few mercs or even a Rolls-Royce in their garages. Advisory for anyone traveling to Chennai. The acceptable fare is 2/3rd of what the autowallahs quote in the first time. The trick it to announce that you go everyday and you know 2/3rd is the fair fare and then start walking towards another autowallah and you shall get it. Its like bargaining in Palika or Janpath or Sarojini. But autowallahs is a nuisance and comfort. Local buses are bad because you don't know half the places and buses are numbers 10A, 10B, 23C etc and if you board the C bus instead of the A bus you might end up in a different part of the city altogether. I somehow managed to find the Chennai bus route guide and I am still confused! Autowallahs don't have a horn on the autos. They use a bhonpoo (if you guys know what it is) and make a distinct squeaking sound. First time I heard that sound, I forgot the sound Mumbaikars make for calling someone (For those who dint know this, Mumbaikars would make a kissing sound to call people - its same as calling "Hello" or "Oye" in Delhi).

Chennai Police is awesome. They are the best across the country I think. When Delhi got the Toyota Qualises for patrolling on roads, it was said that Delhi cops are state-of-the-art but Chennai has managed to beat us mere mortals delhites again. Chennai cops have Hyundai Accents as patrol cars. Bikes, gone are days of Bullets and CD100s that we have in Delhi. They have Fiero F2s, CBZs, Pulsars of the world. If this was not enough, all the police vehicles are loaded with loud speakers and cops love to taunt on people through public address systems. Its very common to see cops driving through even the posh-est and best localities in Chennai and throwing obscenities on people. Busy market place, Empty road, Crossing, they are everywhere and screaming on people. I was standing outside a shop and eating some local variant of mango pickle when even I was shouted at. The shopkeeper had to tell me to move away from the road - all by the sign language !

Since I am talking about the food, I must say food is not bad at all. I did not expect Chennai to be a foodies paradise. Chennai has got good places. I even had paranthas at a couple of places and they were almost as good as the dhaba paranthas that we get in Delhi and Haryana highway. It has got good Mexican, Thai, Chinese, Mughlai, north Indian - all kinds of food. I even had golgappas aka panipuris aka puchkkas. And by the way I have hated South Indian food all my life and it is not bad at all. I actually managed to like the Sambhar and Rice. Tamilians eat rice with their hands and they do it with such a dexterity that only the five fingers are dirty after eating. I tried eating with my hands and I could manage a handful of them in my mouth and a lot on my clothes and a lot of grins from the people in the restaurant.

Language is difficult part. Its dravidian and its difficult to pick, learn, speak or understand. There are no common words. If you are from Delhi and you go to Gujarat or Maharashtra or UP or Bihar or Bengal you can pick a few words but Chennai - no sir. You can not. The only few words I have managed to learn are inge (here), one (oon), yes (aama), no (illae), home (veedhu). There is something else that I have learnt but its better understood that said. I cant even watch the TV :(.

Talking of the idiot box, Chennai is CAS enabled and my guest house aint got it. The only channels I can make some sense out of are NDTV Profit, FTV, DD1, Sanskar, GOD TV and Zoom. I think last time I was happy watching DD1 was in 1994 when Zee TV was about to be launched. Apart from these 6-7 channels, I have an array of networks from Sun, Surya, Gemini, Raj etc to DD Malayalam, DD Kannada even DD Bengali all with a music channel, news channel, movie channel each. Thankfully the TV has just got 50 channels - saves a lot of misery of finding a Hindi or English channel. Oh by the way there is one channel that displays the clock all the time(yes it IS a channel - not a "feature" of the television set) and another channel that says FM and it has the text FM on it and is actually a radio channel. And yes this FM channel is on TV. I have tried watching a few sitcoms but I have fail to understand anything - even the casting. The average heroine is 30 odd years old, fair, medium height, 36-32-36 (I think they like it heavy around the waist) a lot of revealing clothes and an average hero is at least 44, thick mustaches, very dark, untucked shirt, huge belly (at least 40 inches) and at times a moustache. And the best part is that they actually manage to dance like Michael Jackson. And people make temples, line up for two days to get a ticket, shoot each-other for a movie ticket and what not.

Ever since I have landed in Chennai, my ego has got a huge boost. For the first time in my life, I am actually fairer than most of the girls! In Delhi, I was fairer than about 5% guys (cant even talk about girls) and here I am with all that it takes to be a hero. Well almost. I am still to grow from 24 to 40 (another 16 years) and eat to grow my 37 inches on waist to 40 - I am close). I think right now I will be happy working where I am !!!!

Vanakkam - Alvida !

Vanakkam Chennai !
Alvida Dilli !